i must confess that i've spend so many time watching korean dramas. way too many that i've addicted to it. i first started off with watching Taiwanese drama, Meteor Garden, which was the craze early 2000.. hahhahahaha...i still remember how i fall head over heels with Dau Ming Shi...and of course the rest of F4 were too enchanting to ignore. then, i watched Mars, with Vic Chou & Barbie Hsu as leading actors. you should watch this drama, btw. a different side of Vic Chou, contradictory from Hua Ze Lei of Meteor Garden. 

after these 2 dramas, i've started to watch Korean drama, one by one and i'm glad with the dramas that i've chose. the list is as below (not in order) :

1) Sungkyunkwan Scandal
2) The Greatest Love
3) Ms Ripley
4) My Princess
5) Scent of A Woman
6) Warrior Baek Dong Soo
7) Protect the Boss
8) Personal Taste
9) Boys Over Flower
10) Secret Garden
11) City Hunter
12) Lie To Me

* in red are my all time favorite....


And yeah, Japanese Dramas as well; Detective Conan 2011 & Beautiful Love. I am collecting Detective Conan anime as well as i have been addicted to this anime since early 2000.


and now, am waiting for Running Man. i've been waiting since forever for the newest episode  but since Isubs is subbing it with very much detail, i can't help but wait patiently. 


hm..that's all my drama craze for now. am looking for new drama to download. expecting Poseidon & Babyfaced Beauty soon.

can't help but feeling nothing. nothing to accomplish. nothing to think. nothing to do. worse yet, nothing to live for. once in a while this kind of feeling will creep back into me, driving me mad with uncertainties and felt like the future is too bleak. i try to maintain my sanity by ignoring this feeling but eventually, it will always overcome me and take control of everything. i guess my depression will never be cured.

i really don't feel like doing anything. i don't even want to wake up. i just want to curl up in my bed, whole day long doing nothing. i don't want to go to work. i don't want to go anywhere. i just feel nothing. i don't know how to describe what i felt right now. i don't know how to put it in words; these feeling of nothingness is too overwhelmed.

faking a smile in front of other people would be easy. but to trick my heart into thinking that i'm okay would be too hard. most normal people would never understand what it felt like being in depression. i felt like dying every single minute and yet, people laugh saying i'm crazy to feel that way. 

i don't want to meet people right now. i just want to hide in my room, under my blanket in the dark, alone; where time stops ticking, where everything is quiet & i'll be in my own world.

i'm tired. i don't know where i'm going. i don't know what i'll do. and i'm scared. scared of being too brave one day. brave enough to end my life. 

life.....will there be life for me i wonder.....